From being happy, sad, overthinking about things to creating fake scenarios and even living them, we always choose! Sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally but we always choose. But, in the process of choosing between things/situations/people, we often forget to choose ourselves. We are a result of our choices.
When you get affected by a person, you somewhere choose to get affected by him/her. Situations aren’t always as complicated as they seem, you might understand that you are overthinking but you still choose to overthink about it, here you know you choose to overthink right? That’s what happens in general life. Agree to the fact or not, but we always have a choice between staying happy or sad and we sometimes unknowingly choose the latter.
You now might say that it’s my brain who creates situations or scenarios but it’s YOUR brain, right? It is supposed to work according to you and it completely depends on you whether you choose to be a slave of your brain or vice versa. Our brain is capable enough to fool us, we sometimes have to identify it and work accordingly. It's a wonderful thing to know that at any moment you have the freedom, the ability, the power to choose what to do and how to live your life. The choice is the greatest gift we get from life.
Also Read: Is your Mind fooling you?
Depending on how we feel life treats us we choose to be negative or positive in the way we think. We choose to judge people and things with complaints and bitterness or to be kind and fair. Essentially you choose to be a victim or a hero. Life gives you a chance every day and it’s called today, so today choose happiness, choose anything and everything you want your life to be because remember, your life is nothing but a result of your very own choices and so if you are not liking your life presently, you need to focus on your choices. You can't make yourself feel positive, but you can choose how to act, and if you choose right, it builds your confidence.
Whatever it is you're making your mind up about be aware of each option. Focus on it and drop it from your mind right into your heart. Let it rest there for a few moments, be still, and take some deep breaths. Then ask: What does my heart tell me to do? Feel the effect it has on your body... let it get into your gut and emotions. Trust yourself. When it's wrong for you you'll feel uneasy, tight, tense. The smart choice, the right one for you, makes you feel happy, relaxed, and sure.
No matter how difficult the choice or decision you are making you can ask some simple questions for clarity: What do I really want? What will give me peace and calm me down? How can I turn this around, reframe it so I find the best answer? The more you ask questions the more you open yourself up to a peaceful state of mind. Positive energy is in the desire to know and when you feel yourself relax -- body and mind -- you know you're on the right track. Observe yourself, know yourself, your choices, things that you like, things that you don’t, and then while taking a decision keep them in mind.
Nothing can affect you without your own consent. I repeat Nothing!
Make your first small step to start your change. It's worth it because each choice you make brings you closer to the life you want to live. Change is a choice and the only constant. Change is a process and life is also a process that we are all living.
There is nothing in your life that you don’t have control over. Sure, you cannot change the PEOPLE around you but you can always change the people AROUND you (Read that again).
The key is to stop trying to control external events and focus on our response to them because this is something you can influence and have control over.
In the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the author distinguishes between things in our circle of concern and our circle of influence.
The circle of concern consists of external events, things we have little or no influence over, and the circle of influence consists of things we have lots of influence over.
Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circles of Influence & Control, which is the area we have control over and we can act upon. They tend to put their energy into the things in their Circle of influence; and as a result, expand their circle of concern. For instance, a proactive person is someone who is worried about the world's suffering and he/she might learn skills to help people. Someone, who is troubled by what people think of him/her might work on his/her self-worth. In both cases, they are responding to external events by working on things they can do something about which in return lets them live their life the way they want to. Hence, giving them control over how they want their life to be.
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In contrast, people who put effort into their circle of concern tend to focus on things they can do little/nothing about. They complain about the weather, people’s mindset, their behavior, political issues. This results in blaming, accusing, and dramatizing, they sometimes might also act like a victim(unwillingly).
The choice is yours; we are entirely capable of deciding how things will affect us and how do we respond to them. People are disturbed not by the things, but by the views they take of them.
We are all growing, and are making choices each and every day. If you are going through something, I hope from now on you will choose happiness and yourself over anything. Respect yourself, your choices, and the world will follow.
Sending good vibes your way :)
“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~ Dr. Stephen R. Covey