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“He shouted at me, for no reason at all, I do not understand what his problem is really, But I feel bad” Everyone has said this or something similar one time or the other. We sometimes do not understand why our fellow mate or colleague is behaving the way they are behaving, and we out of nowhere get frustrated because of that. We take things personally for no reason at all. Do you know what happens when you take things personally? You give away your power to them because now their actions and their words define your mood for the day or time being.
You must have heard that be kind, people are healing from things they do not talk about. And that is not just a saying, it can be the reason your friend or co-worker is irritated at work nowadays. Maybe he is going through something, or maybe he feels messed up in his head, there could be any reason for him reacting indifferently. It is not ok to believe that you are the cause of everything, he/she is not frustrated because of you (of course, that is until and unless you did something, then you should discuss the issue with them). Remember, the world does not revolve around you, we sometimes forget that and start to think that whatever bad is happening is happening because of the mere reason that we exist, but that is not true. People have their problems which have nothing to do with you and they are simply dealing with them in their way.
Also Read: Your Attitude, Your Window to the World
Your friend does not intentionally want to hurt you by not going on that trip you planned, maybe he/she just does not feel like it right now, maybe it is because of a budget issue, or maybe he/she is simply busy these days, maybe there is a lot of work lined up and they feel overwhelmed. Not taking things personally helps you mentally and I cannot stress it enough; it decreases the drama in your life, and most importantly it helps you stay detached, we all know how much peace that brings, don’t we? Only some people tend to master that art, and the rest of us envy their quality, but it is no rocket science, they have a simple theory of not taking things personally.
People have the right to think, speak and have an opinion about anything and everything. Let people say what they want to, your reaction to what they say about you is their fuel, you giving away your power, which gives them power. Once you stop reacting to meaningless things, they do they get frustrated and annoyed but at the same time it sets you free. That makes sense, right? Sometimes people have genuine reasons for behaving in a certain way and it is not related to you and sometimes they enjoy poking you, people have a hard time minding their own business.
Not everyone is going to be happy for you, and to be honest such people are rare to find, some people will intentionally try to hurt you, and they will try to poke you by pointing out your insecurities and you will stand there wondering how can one comment on such a thing, but until and unless you, yourself are confident enough, you do not need their opinion, especially of the ones who are envious of you. Wise is the person who becomes neutral to such things. Sure, you must take your stand but that is subjective, there is no point arguing with a person who has a stronger opinion of you than you. Remember, not everyone deserves your reaction. Save your time and energy, and focus on what is real to you.
When you do not take things personally, you are less likely to internalize negative feedback or criticism, which can help you maintain a more positive self-image. This can be especially helpful in professional settings, where criticism and feedback are often an essential part of growth and development. You can also maintain a sense of emotional distance that can help you cope with difficult situations more effectively. Not taking things personally can be a powerful tool for improving your relationships, increasing your self-confidence, and reducing stress and anxiety.
Although, this is a skill that takes practice and patience to develop, and it is okay to make mistakes along the way. The cheat code is to remind yourself time and again that their opinion is not your reality, your reality is decided by you.
You may also like: Power of Visualization
You will be shocked by the way people react to your neutral reaction to things, but you will enjoy watching them, I can guarantee that.
I hope you will use my cheat code from now on because trust me it has helped me emotionally detach and nothing is more satisfying than knowing nobody has power over you because you do not allow them to.
Let me take your leave by saying, “Alexa play kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna”
All the best, make me proud!