You must have heard that “everyone is unique in their own ways” but did you know that this is the kind of statement which can affect you in a very negative way because it can make you feel that you, your problems, and your circumstances are unique! And because of that, you can feel that whatever is happening is unique to you and you may find yourself alone. But the truth is that from whatever situation you are going through today someone might have faced it earlier and someone might face It in their life later on.
My argument on the quote, “everyone is unique” is that if we all are unique then how are we individually unique? I mean if we all have a unique fingerprint then isn’t that normal? How is it unique or different? For instance, if everyone is your best friend then what is their importance separately? Getting my point?
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We have this thought/belief instilled in us that we are unique and so it may take some time for you to understand that what you have been believing forever was nothing but a mere illusion. But logically speaking, it is what it is we are not unique.
You are not a failure, you aren’t the only one who has failed, we all did some time and we all have been through such phases of life, your struggle might be a bit different but calling it unique would be wrong. You are not alone; everyone has their own struggle and it’s ok! You are not the only one who feels low at times, we all have bad days and this idea that we all are the same and are fighting similar battles might somedays help you to get through things.
Mark Manson tweeted, “Realize that your problems are not special or unique, that you are not special and unique. And this is good news. Because it means that you will never ever have to suffer alone.” And keeping this tweet in your mind will on certain days help you get through certain days; it is a tried and tested method of making yourself understand that you aren’t alone.
My recommendation: don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising star or an undiscovered genius. Choose to measure yourself not as some horrible victim or dismal failure. Instead, measure yourself by more mundane identities: a student, a partner, a friend, a creator.
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The narrower and rarer the identity you choose for yourself, the more everything will seem to threaten you. For that reason, define yourself in the simplest and most ordinary ways possible. This often means giving up some grandiose ideas about yourself: that you’re uniquely intelligent, or spectacularly talented, or intimidatingly attractive, or especially victimized in ways other people could never imagine. This means giving up your sense of entitlement and your belief that you’re somehow owed something by this world.
We all are indeed different from each other, but the situation we go through, the people we meet, the battles we fight are more or less the same.
“What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden and it’s not. And a lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.” ~ Emma Stone