Before you start reading this blog, I have a question for you. Are you happy? Answer it honestly. If yes, then good. If not, then why not? Are there some external factors affecting your happiness? I am sure there are, it’s common to all. But it’s not natural! Your happiness or your mood, in general, should solely depend on you and even after knowing this, we allow people to dictate our mood. Don’t we?
People often believe that happiness will be achieved once they reach a certain milestone, such as finding the perfect partner or landing a particular salary. We often keep finding a way to postpone our happiness, such as you may feel that when you will get that particular job or internship you will be happy, but let me tell you the harsh truth which is no matter what you achieve it will never be enough to make you happy if you are not happy with yourself. Once you get the job, the next step will be a promotion and then something else, this way you will keep postponing your happiness and that’s what we do in our lives. Instead try being happy where you are, with who you are, and with whatever you are doing. People look for a person to complete them, why would you do that? Are you not complete in yourself? And if you feel like you are not complete in yourself, how will anyone else complete you?
Also read: Attachment styles
It is only when we choose thoughts and feeling aligned with our true state of purity, peace, and love that we shift from holding on to letting go, asking for sharing, the expectation to acceptance, the past and the future to being in the now. We create a life of joy, contentment, and bliss because we have the choice and power. Happiness is a decision and we often tend to forget that.
Happiness should be a lasting and permanent emotion. When it comes naturally to us, we won’t be dependent on anything outside. But the moment we make happiness dependent on something, it becomes a fleeting emotion. Simply put, if you look for happiness outside of you, you are dependent on a situation to be favorable. Happiness now becomes conditional and fleeting. If I am happy only when the weather is pleasant, my feeling good is dependent on the weather. I will not allow myself to feel nice if it gets hotter or colder. We are dependent on numerous factors like these to be happy.
Happy people live with purpose. They find joy in lasting relationships, working toward their goals, and living according to their values. The happy person is not enamored with material goods or luxury vacations. This person is fine with the simple pleasures of life like petting a dog, sitting under a tree, and enjoying a cup of tea. Here, I am not telling you to be happy 24/7 No! Not at all! It’s healthy to experience all kinds of emotions. All I am telling you is to be content with yourself and not look for any external factor to make you happy. In other words, when you are happy, you attract to you people, places, and things that will reinforce that happiness. However, when you are sad, angry, or distressed, the people, places, and things that will be attracted to you will reinforce those lower emotional states.
If you are unhappy, happiness will not be found outside of yourself. You simply aren’t a match for it. You must first BE the happiness before those someone and something can show up to mirror your happiness back to you.
Ultimately, looking outside of yourself for happiness is a fruitless endeavor. It is also a cause of much unnecessary pain and suffering in our lives. The more you look from a state of sadness, anxiety, or depression, the more dire things become!
If your mood or emotions depend on how a person behaves with you, you need to take a step back and observe yourself, maybe there are some parts of you that you need to heal. It’s good to observe things and feel everything deeply, but not every time everyone should affect you right? Maybe you are not able to understand the way someone is living his/her life, or maybe you are not okay with what they are doing, but it’s their life, right? Learn to be okay with it and do not let it affect you!
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Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like it's heaven on earth. Do whatever it takes for you to be happy, but be happy. Develop new hobbies, renew the old ones, find new people to hang out with or reunite with the old ones, play your favorite sport, listen to your playlist, dance on your favorite track, and take care of the child inside you. Acknowledge your emotions and respect them, try to find a way to heal yourself.
Remember, your happiness depends only on you. And at the end of that day, isn’t that a good thing? How much simpler it is to know that the only one you need depends on to uplift yourself is in fact, yourself.