Have you ever been at a place in your life where a meaningful relationship you had with somebody ended all because you two misunderstood each other? Or there was a communication gap because of which things became messy and even when you wanted to keep the bond alive, you were not able to?
I think we all have experienced such issues at least once in our lives. What do you believe is the way out? It is as simple as complicating it, what we do is we assume things and make scenarios all in our mind and so to resolve the issue we ought to do exactly the opposite, we need to talk to them and ask them what the issue is. Once you start doing this, the relationship starts getting better and better, you will notice that the bond becomes stronger and mature with communication. Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
The base of any relationship is friendship, a romantic bond with somebody, siblings or anyone else is trust, and trust is built through healthy communication.
Suppose you had a day out planned with your best friend and he/she ditched you at the last minute. What will be your general reaction to this now? You’ll be angry (of course) and you may not talk to the person for quite some time, but what if you ask them why they did what they did, you may discover something understandable. This, my friend will help the bond not to get messy. I have done this many times, so I can guarantee you that it works.
What people do is something happens and then they sit back, assuming things and making scenarios in their own mind, and 99% of the time they are wrong because they overthink about a situation that never really existed. The worst part is that they make up scenarios and start behaving like they are true, I have a question here; Why in the world would you do that to yourself and your partner? You could have just asked them what the matter was and you both would have discussed and resolved the issues, but no you decided otherwise, and Congratulations! Now the relationship is totally messed up and you think they don’t care about you.
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Just a simple communication would have saved you from all of this. I understand sometimes it’s not really easy to go and talk to your partner because you may be disturbed by something they said to you or did to you. In that case, take your time and when you feel ready go and talk to them. But, remember, the intention is what matters the most! A person’s words may hurt you, but you can easily forgive them if the intention is right. Communication is important because nobody can tell what’s going on in your head as we humans have still not discovered the art of reading minds (we might one day though; like Aamir Khan in PK did but till then you’ll have to say things out loud)
And if you are somebody who did wrong to their partner and now regret it, then also be brave enough to go and tell them whatever it was, this may break your relationship but at least the bond was never fake. The foundation of any relationship should not be built on a lie; it doesn’t last long.
Communicate unto the other person that which you would want him to communicate unto you if your positions were reversed.
Sometimes our peers may do things that offend us, but here we need to understand that maybe they were not aware that the thing can hurt us. You need to tell them that you are not open to such things! You need to introduce them to certain boundaries you have; For them not to repeat them. I have learned this the hard way, but once I did things became naturally easy and I don’t want you to go through the same process and so learn it right away or at least try, you will witness the changes yourself.
Life is simple, we make it complicated!
The worst part of keeping things to ourselves is that we unknowingly bottle up our emotions due to which we feel irritated, and everybody seems to annoy us. We feel people have problems with us when we ourselves are the real problem creators. Nothing is more toxic than bottling up your emotions, because they ultimately break us from within and you don’t want that right?
You may not tell your problems to someone because you think that they won’t understand you and will judge you, which is a very valid reason but everybody deserves a chance, right? Try them and if you still feel that they are not able to understand you then talk to somebody who can or write your thoughts down (trust me, it helps)
Also read: Toxic side of Positivity
Studies show that maximum communication gap problems are seen between parents and children which are also termed as Generation Gap. Parents are unable to respect the child’s opinion because of the ego of why should we listen to them, they are just children they know nothing, we have seen the world not them, come in and children think that only we are right. Parents need to understand that their child belongs to a different generation with different ideologies, and they need to accept the changes whereas, the child needs to understand that his/her parents love him/her and they won’t do something bad for the child. Just because a person is right, doesn’t mean the other one is wrong; it’s just a matter of perspective. To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.
Simple communication can help you re-build the long-lost trust with each other, a friendly relation, which allows the child to share everything they do which in return helps parents to monitor that the child is on the right path. Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.
Whenever somebody talks to you, be all ears to them. Do not listen to answer, listen to understand. That trait is rare!
If you are holding grudges, with somebody; this is your sign to go talk to them. All the best! You are brave enough to do that. No matter how bad things went, you still have a chance to sort things out with the right intention and effective communication.
“If people had the right skills and intention to communicate well, there would be no conflict. The better we are at communicating, the better our lives will be.” ~ Yama Mubtaker