Women hear this a lot that “Oh Wow! You are beauty with brains”, (what is wow about that?) what do you think this statement really means? Let’s talk about it in more depth.
The phrase “beauty with brains” is used for a woman when someone finds that she is beautiful as well as intelligent. Does that mean that women can be either beautiful or intelligent? And when you find she is both you say the phrase to her sounding like you gave her a compliment. But, no it is not, because it limits them and forces them into stereotypes. Have you ever heard someone saying this to a man that “you are handsome and intelligent” No, right? But why? Because men are intelligent and handsome and there is nothing new about it? Yes, men are, but women are too. The fact is that everybody is beautiful as well as intelligent. When you tell them they are beautiful, you are indirectly fitting them in the so-called “beauty standards” with which today’s generation is obsessed with! And it is a major problem. You don’t need to fit in! You were born to stand out! Dare to be different. You should focus on being brave, inspiring, courageous, fearless etc. and not on losing weight just because you want to look beautiful to other people (do that for yourself if you want to and not the society).
Be comfortable with yourself, with your skin, weight, color, texture etc. that way you will feel confident and listen! Confidence looks so good on people, it actually makes them attractive instantly so try that you will feel good, I promise. Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening
Related: Can Positivity be toxic? Choice is yours
Same is the concept with the phrase “Bold and Beautiful”. Woman are born bold and beautiful so by saying this you are not really paying them a compliment; you are just telling them who they already are. Your intention can be completely right while using these phrases but the concept they hold isn’t.
In the past, Women were believed to be inferior so for men a woman who was beautiful and intelligent was something new. But In today’s world where we celebrate women and we agree to the fact that they are born strong, bold, beautiful and are capable of achieving whatever they want to, it is not new.
Also Read: Life is Precious, don't take it for granted
So. Let’s bring a change today itself.
Instead of saying things like “you are beautiful”, “Beauty with Brains”, “Bold and beautiful”, “handsome” etc. try saying:
You are brave.
You Inspire me.
You make a difference.
You are a role model for many.
You make my heart happy.
I appreciate you and what you do.
You are a great friend.
You are so funny.
I love it how you treat others.
I like your vibe
You are fearless
…….and many more.
Anybody would love these compliments, try using them.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson