Do you ever look at someone and think how they do what they do, how they act so cool, almost flawless? How do they manage to look like they love themselves? I am sure you do because I do too.
It is not that they have their life sorted and nothing bothers them, But the fact is they are what they are because of their energy towards themselves, they are the main character/protagonist of their life! And they carry that main character energy which in turn makes people like them. Being the main character of your life simply means taking actions based on what you feel, because you love and value yourself and not because it feels morally correct or because that’s what other people think. What other people think/believe is solely their perspective and has got nothing to do with you. Everybody owns life experiences different from yours and hence, their opinion or perspective is a result of what they have been through.
Only you know what you have been through, only you know and understand what do you want and hence, work accordingly. We all are indeed the main character of our lives but sometimes we forget to move with that energy, sometimes we forget to ask ourselves what do we want. Each one of us is the main character in our own story, each written through a combination of fate, genetics, society, and our own free will. Perhaps the realization that you are the main character is enough to provide some motivation to start acting like one. So, you decide not to just survive your story but write it. You have a story to tell by the life you choose to live, the choices you make, the passions you explore, the convictions you hold, the connections you form.
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To be the main character of your life, first of all, you need to stop comparing, Sun and Moon shine when it’s their time. IT.IS.YOUR.LIFE. The experiences you hold are your very own. There will always be someone who has more (and less) than you. They get to be the main characters of their stories and guess what, you still get to be the main character of yours with all of your strengths and your flaws, too. Stop putting other people on a pedestal above you. We are all human, all equal. We all deal with shit, just different kinds of it. The incidents that you hate at the moment might turn out to be something you are grateful for.
We don’t even know ourselves, we all are in a process of exploring our own self, later on in life, you might discover things about yourself that even you didn’t know existed and that is alright. Life is all about finding oneself through the process. Focus on yourself, your likes, dislikes, things that make you feel cozy and secure, things that make you feel happy or safe or sad. When you spend the time to relate to yourself listening for what makes you happy, it’s much easier to cheer on others going after their joy, too. And here is where boundaries come in—for protecting your joy. When things and people threaten your safety, your emotional energy, your time, anything of yours really—it’s time to consider placing a boundary – saying: here’s where you stop & start, and here’s where I stop & start. I’m only responsible for myself. The simplest way of respecting your own needs is by saying NO! I have learned this with time, and I am glad I did and you should do it too. Make yourself a priority, acknowledge what do you want rather than think about what other people do. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself, it’s healthy. Be good, but don’t waste your time proving it.
We want to control other people’s perceptions of us. We want to be what they expect, want, and need us to be so we can be liked and accepted. This is not Main Character Energy. We need to take a step back and examine this need for control, this need to be liked, this need to be needed.
· Where does it come from?
· When did I learn this?
· How did/does this serve me?
· What am I truly afraid of happening if I am not in control, liked, or needed?
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These are usually the youngest parts of ourselves that we try to protect most because we feel the most vulnerable there, in our soft spots: the spot deep in my core that holds on to the fear that I’m unlovable, bad, unworthy, undesirable, etc. It’s a happy ending if you have yourself in the end.
Being the main character of your life doesn’t mean being happy, sorted, and bold all the time and you shouldn’t expect yourself to be this way too. Heroes are strong because besides being strong and sorted they are emotional, vulnerable, and sensitive too. Being emotional makes you more of a human, people have this misconception that being emotional will make them weak, where in fact emotions are beautiful, and you are lucky to experience them there is no reason why you should be ashamed or afraid of being an emotional being. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, time heals almost everything, give time some time.
Stop chasing perfection! Nobody is going to disown you if you do not behave like you are perfect. I repeat, nobody! Perfection is an illusion, It’s not in our DNA. All we can be is human; all we can be is ourselves. The sooner we learn this, the freer we are to actually come to understand and pursue the things that are of value to us and connect us to each other.
If you are struggling to be the main character of your story; let me, tell you, I feel you, probably we all do. But life is all about growing up and learning things, so let’s grow together.
Sending good vibes your way :)
“I am my own home, whether things go good or bad. I'll always have me “ ~Khushi Arora